I cant sleep!

I am really stress out...becoz of 2 things...
1) I cant find my passport
2) Sina 10 yrs Anniversary 1 man job...

Since Tuesday..of searching, I tell my bf I lost my passport. I really fleak out.
I kind of wanting to take half day leave on wed to go home search again..at the end..i pause..coz some item, is too high and i cant search it..till he help me.

Back home on Wed after rush dinner..no wait for his brothers and grandmother to leave together and take bus..we quickly back home search..we really take out every thing..every bags, search again and again..i feel very pain in my heart, but cant cry. As it is really my own mistake..

Even i call the embassy of singapore..the guy said they had 2 days permerant pass, but juz for singaporean who lost their passport in hk and is juz a entry pass to let them back sg, but..i want to go taiwan..and if apply for a new passport in hk, it take 5 weeks (35 days), wif police report of lost, important proof document..etc and tis sat is the trip!....I really sad.., Yesterday my manager tell me when i back for trip..will need to start prepare the sina 10 yrs anniversary. I never been to taiwan..and is a chance for 2 couple to go tgr..am i need to face the music???

I cant sleep...at night..my mind..keep blaming myself..will i put in office, will i lost it when i move hse 4 mths ago..as it was too rush move...i keep trace back..keep trace back..why i am so careless..i finally tears drop down..i really feel that..no matter wat..i should be strong...but..cant bear..already paid..bf and friends will still go the trip..

Stress 2
Around 6.30pm office, juz right after i back from toilet Yesterday. I was captured by my colleague and ask me to go in conference room, to talk about the sina 10yrs event..inside the room 4 pple(my marketing manager and 2 same channel colleagues,4 female).

Manager tell me, plse get prepare that big boss will check and ask us to go in his room individually to talk abt all tasks that i had done in those several months, plse get prepare..is for all channel departments..

Secondly..regarding the online site of 10yrs Anniversary, u had to take charge and do everythg..right after u back the taiwan trip plus if that moment, any marketing banners and tasks others manager ask u to do..u had to put them as first piority and done all out..

I tell her..if so much thing on hand and so pack..the quality will nt be good..and without scripting colleague for help..it really hard..coz for the whole site..is alot of pages, alots links. I in charge of all drawing, all animation and all scripting within short period..i only can ask the scripting pple if i need to..and that task is involve wif production team member...haiz..i feel really disappointed, no human and unkind..Am I machine? I feel deeply sad.

I dont want to argue wif her..it may or may not her will and saying..or she may get push by her higher level also..why big boss..will thk a banner creation can done in a flash of second..without concept, draw, reject of idea,redo storyboard, animation and flash scripting le?

May be they juz cared about the results only..But plse bear in mind..one person..how to do so much of things? and manager really said..u take such salary (in front of other 2 colleagues) boss think that u should know everythg. did he ever increase my salary..did he know..wat i done..did he praise us designer before?

I know I shouldnt carry tis kind of tone anymore..but..i really dont know..i can bear it thru..

Helpless.....can i climb it thru...i wonder?