to myself

I feel that tis blog, is a platform for me to scream and know more about myself...

I just quit previous job, which only 24days with them..
People there are nice and funny
I just dont like the nite cycle, people like to work fr 11am to 9pm..which is not me..I dont wont to do too boring stuff..and rush work within a day..haiz..may be alot of job scope in hk are like that, which i need to adapt to..

Through tis waiting for interview periods (1 wk)..I try to re-skin myself more..
ask myself alot of question..regarding..actually wat i want,what i can do,
what kind of job suit me..will they hire me..their environment..

Thinking back, when just enter this wking life..I never thk so much before..
as long as company accept me..able to have a stable job..

But when i grow older..i feel i didnt able to save alot..may be becoz of my character..or kind of money management..I hope I can do better tis coming year..

Get diturb by several interview call..
Hope tis time, can find 1 suitable la..
This week will be going for 2 interviews, 2days parttime..add oil..xmas coming le

add oil to me and to all my friends!

I Juz leave Hell!!!

Thanks god, today is my last day.
I work it through..is such a long day..
but finally leave these urgly place..

thanks god...only start rain..when i reach home, after bath..
i usually dont like rains..but i like to listen the sound of raindrop today
feeling relief, coz so soothing sound now..

i dont like the marketing assistance who is the big mouth/gossip in company
I dont like my manager, coz she is blind, she listen only the useless big mouth.

now i care no more about them..i feel blessed

thank you...i am so happy now..

I feel extremely tired~

I feel really tired...

Tired of the current proj I am doing
People behind me are really evil, noisy and I really dont like them,
and their attitude towards work (everyday juz talk about their stocks, gossips about colleagues...etc)

I had no feeling for wat I am doing now...

I feel sick of them...I feel sick of siting there to wk...
My stomach are painful and super moody today..i try to avoid talking to pple..
go aunty's hse eat dinner with full speed, i want to go home, and hide in bed...

I want to stay home tis few day...my head a damn giddy...

I want a break...no matter juz a day or two...i know..i need to bear the rest of the days...add oil to myself...

I feel great!

I finally send out the one month notice resign letter..

I really do wat i feel right and no regret of it..

escape from that animal kingdom...

see their truth color...

grow up to be more stronger and start to become numb of their gossip,

no feeling regardless wat they say...really cant hurt me any more...

i never regret! be strong...29 more days..start count down now.

I hope to go back sg and rest for a month to meet my friends and family..
keep finger cross!!

be strong to myself...

Missssssssing u so much, when I meet difficulties...
and damn sad when u are not there...

plse come bk soon, I hope to get a hug fr u. sob.

Manager Evil's Act !!

1) Always pop to my seat and say "Kelly(Fanny), I think you have to work faster or else can't finish."

My thinking bubble: "why shouldnt you manage your time probably, and really think about the whole flow of the project..now they are expecting me doing 3 pages of creation of layouts, slicing of the html pages in one day, and they never had confirm text and layout in mind, after i do, keep changing and keep changing..and now expect me to work faster..hey man, plse make ur fleaking mind clear..what you want first, before u rush me. I am not a rubbish bin to collect your gas and shit.

2) "Wei, dont be so calculative wif me, if you tell me u do OT during sat and sun, bear in mind, when not so busy days..u can leave office sharp at 7pm!" and u see the other colleague "her name" , also some time stay till 11-12pm to do ot for her work.

My thinking bubble: Hey u, when not the peek days, i still have stuff to work on..and i am effection enough to finish my wk, with sufficient time. And if really nothg to do, is ur fault, i did ask u what i can do next...and leave on time is correct deed, I never leave earlier like others of ur assistant, i never exceed my lunch time..and regarding the other colleague ot, is her efficient prob..if she cant do it fast, is her own experience prob. Now you are giving me insufficient time to finish impossible task..

3)"Moreover, dont forget your internet claim, (our company had a limited claims amount for internet usage) I already increase it fr initally $200 t0 hk$300, you are in marketing team others only claim $200 really treat you very good le." "By the way, i also dont think you at home will use internet for company work lor!"

My thinking bubble: Hey Madam, why production team's designer able to claim $300 and me also a designer use only $200? and they design..i also designer..wat is the different? Though i am in marketing team, i dont use the phone as much as urs, my wk task are mainly internet webpage design..why cant i ask for fair claims?

4) Around 9.30pm in office, after 6-7 rounds of her unclear mind of a page correction..i juz a small comment, "i feel abit giddy~" my manager heard that and she say" Giddy, hey u cant be giddy , u still had long way to go..u have to finish the stuff before u can go"

My thinking bubble: damn u...haiz..i am nt really a machine and even a machine will break down wif tis kind of hash treatment..

Yesterday i really really disappointed with her saying, i didnt fight back, of course not telling her how i feel, i just feel no point to tell her..since she wont take my reason in heart...no point explain to her. She just want the result. And i did tell the case to my bf, he tell me ..may be i didnt know how to push away the ball to others or back to manager..Yes, may be..
But, yesterday..i really tense up, mind tired, go toilet 2 times (really stomach sick, may be too tense up) been working full speed and full concentrate, for the project.

After all, after talk to my bf, i just felt that, why should i been so hard working for her..i thk, i will use my normal speed...normaly feeling for the task..i should relax, no point, make my health, become so poor, my mind so fleak out, and i miss alot of time wif my sis, friends catching time...

In life, there are so much more other thing to do..to treasure..i wont work for life.. i hope i can life for work..I am not a machine~

Really feel better after say it all out..now is early morning..been to the toilet a few times, cant sleep..and hope to type it out to relax my thoughts..and make my self remember..i should learn a lesson..and wont step on it again~

Busy...Bored....

WOO...SAT = wk day...draw draw eat eat draw agn!

since bf fly to sydney to wk , later he will go singapore 3 days then 3 days shenzhen..12days missing..haiz..so bascially today and tmr, will draw as much as i can. Haiz..need to show the event page on mon..they wanna retro style..handdrawn feel..is nt my normal style and i am not an illustrator..is a designer..why..they want me do the whole drawing wif only 1 day..and i ask manager is it able to claim off if wk on sat and sun..she say no..haiz.

feeling so unfair..haiz...go back to wk ba..
tonight i only go out while buy my dinner..sushi..ha..is already very gd dinner..

haiz..back to wk ba..take it a challenge ba! should be able to fight over...

Day 4 30/6

Hey Movie Day!
I bought two movie vcd long time ago..they are "Before sunset" and "Somewhere in time"

I watched before sunset first..is really a nice and romatic show...I love the scene when Julie Deply was carrying a guiter and sing the "Waltz for a Night" to Ethan Hawke..I did cry while she was playing and singing..is really touching..

Some story line:
After previous encounter in Vienna's train, 9 yrs later unexpectedly meet in paris..
and only have only one fading afternoon to decide if they should share their tomorrows....plse rent these both show "Before sunrice" and "Before Sunset"

feeling so great after watched this show..studdenly want Julie to sing me that song again...wahla...and wanna have a chance to go Vienna too

4 DAYS HK Relax Holiday :P

Day 1 Saturday
Done List:
1)Swim (10 rounds..new record!)
2)Jusco buy bread and item
3)Lunch
4)Make police report
5)Take instant photos
6)Go Market buy ingredients for dinner..
7)Cooking Lesson - learn how to make crab porridge and fried noodle.
8)Home Sweet Home

Remark:

I really love swim..but lesser people pool, cold water make me relax

I dont like the sun..becoz will give me "angel kiss - frickle.

Day 2 Sunday
Done List:
1)Swim (only 5 rounds)
2)Jusco buy orange juice.
3)Lunch
4)Meet Fung + shopping + exhibition named and + Dinner
5)Home Sweet Home

Remark:

There are too many kids go for swimming lesson today..damn! nt too enjoy!
And one rude woman..accidently open my swim pool bath curtain..luckily..havent start bath..i really wanna scold her!

I now love orange and orange juice!

Fung and I had a gd discussion regarding the exhibition..nice visit, and nice catch up. Done some window shopping and udon for dinner..enjoy it! thanks for accompany me!

Day 3 Monday
Done List:
1)Singapore Embassy at Admirality station
2)Self shopping at Wan Chai, Ha, Buy 2 bks, 1 umbrella and some makeup item
3)Home relax +Read new bks + some nds game
4)Dinner wif Ginny and Yvonne
5)Meeting with Oscar the golden retriever, Yvonne's playful doggie


Remark:

Oh my god! Oscar are really hyper..though i really a timid gal..i try to avoid his big wellcome hug..really make me scared..haha...Yvonne's doggie (6 mths but already very tall dog but slim body)..and he always climb his big body to ginny..he always want pple to play wif him..may be he really stay home for too long..really longed to go out play le.. i thk..wif such timid character of me..i only can keep a cat..haha..

I buy 2 bks that is 张爱玲 <小团圆> and <傾城之戀>, always heard this famous writer..really wanna to have a lOok of her boOks, why is she so famous?

nice experience..but nt too tired day...hee, tmr, already day 4..so fast!

I cant sleep!

I am really stress out...becoz of 2 things...
1) I cant find my passport
2) Sina 10 yrs Anniversary 1 man job...

Since Tuesday..of searching, I tell my bf I lost my passport. I really fleak out.
I kind of wanting to take half day leave on wed to go home search again..at the end..i pause..coz some item, is too high and i cant search it..till he help me.

Back home on Wed after rush dinner..no wait for his brothers and grandmother to leave together and take bus..we quickly back home search..we really take out every thing..every bags, search again and again..i feel very pain in my heart, but cant cry. As it is really my own mistake..

Even i call the embassy of singapore..the guy said they had 2 days permerant pass, but juz for singaporean who lost their passport in hk and is juz a entry pass to let them back sg, but..i want to go taiwan..and if apply for a new passport in hk, it take 5 weeks (35 days), wif police report of lost, important proof document..etc and tis sat is the trip!....I really sad.., Yesterday my manager tell me when i back for trip..will need to start prepare the sina 10 yrs anniversary. I never been to taiwan..and is a chance for 2 couple to go tgr..am i need to face the music???

I cant sleep...at night..my mind..keep blaming myself..will i put in office, will i lost it when i move hse 4 mths ago..as it was too rush move...i keep trace back..keep trace back..why i am so careless..i finally tears drop down..i really feel that..no matter wat..i should be strong...but..cant bear..already paid..bf and friends will still go the trip..

Stress 2
Around 6.30pm office, juz right after i back from toilet Yesterday. I was captured by my colleague and ask me to go in conference room, to talk about the sina 10yrs event..inside the room 4 pple(my marketing manager and 2 same channel colleagues,4 female).

Manager tell me, plse get prepare that big boss will check and ask us to go in his room individually to talk abt all tasks that i had done in those several months, plse get prepare..is for all channel departments..

Secondly..regarding the online site of 10yrs Anniversary, u had to take charge and do everythg..right after u back the taiwan trip plus if that moment, any marketing banners and tasks others manager ask u to do..u had to put them as first piority and done all out..

I tell her..if so much thing on hand and so pack..the quality will nt be good..and without scripting colleague for help..it really hard..coz for the whole site..is alot of pages, alots links. I in charge of all drawing, all animation and all scripting within short period..i only can ask the scripting pple if i need to..and that task is involve wif production team member...haiz..i feel really disappointed, no human and unkind..Am I machine? I feel deeply sad.

I dont want to argue wif her..it may or may not her will and saying..or she may get push by her higher level also..why big boss..will thk a banner creation can done in a flash of second..without concept, draw, reject of idea,redo storyboard, animation and flash scripting le?

May be they juz cared about the results only..But plse bear in mind..one person..how to do so much of things? and manager really said..u take such salary (in front of other 2 colleagues) boss think that u should know everythg. did he ever increase my salary..did he know..wat i done..did he praise us designer before?

I know I shouldnt carry tis kind of tone anymore..but..i really dont know..i can bear it thru..

Helpless.....can i climb it thru...i wonder?

24 june 2009

Today i really feel unhappy..coz, before my trip to taiwan (tis sat)
I cant find my passport when I want to start pack my luggage.

I really gone crazy, search high and low..and keep thinking back..
where did i put it...is it in my old rent room in Tin Hau..or, when i move place,
i accidently throw it..or..i misplace it..

i call and ask the sg embassy in hk...haiz..he said..can apply a temp for, and require 2 days..juz to go back sg, and apply a new one...I dont want to go bk sg..

orhe said..wait for 5 wks, in hk to wait for the replace passport...
and internet mention..tempt doc, taiwan wont accept u for entry...

Haiz..damn hot soap...i really need to find it soon...feel damn bad and stress, but need to force myself to stay coool in office...bad me..

dear god , plse help me..thanks!!

............>sad me

Normal Wednesday

Yesteday nite, I was so naughty, coz I play nds whole night
from 11pm to 1am, yes..playing that dragonball nds game..
I really addicted!..and I dont want to sleep, if my character's level didnt upgrade..haha...studdenly a thought came to me...

I won't let my child start playing nds, till he/she really grow up...
coz...I thk I 100% sure he/she will addicted and dont want to do their homewk...

unless, they save their own pocket money and purchase one..or..i will say never to let them play..hee

Just 95% completed leon's supplement..a minor video part, still need some adjustment on script...hope fix soon..and i can hand in tmr..yyahoo....

start waiting for wkend..........

Monday Again...What a cycle...

(Both pics are taken at the Art Fair 09)

Sat buy a new fan...coz the old one I using, only start fanning after 10mins when u press the switch on button...Fan also will grow old...ok la, I will let u rest in peace, and replaced by a new fan which can swing left and right plus top and bottom...quite reasonable price..only HK199!

I bought 4bottles of nails polish from Missha (http://www.missha.com.hk/v5/main.php).
somethg that is bright and sweet to cheer myself up. So I bought a sweet pink, green, 1 shimmer and 1 glossy finishes for HK$28 per bottle.

On Sun, a group of 4, went to the Hong Kong International Art Fair 09, I only take a few pic,coz photography are not allow. This year got more different style art work, and alot mixed media artwk....at night 4 of us went to have hot pot...haha..eat so much...really dun dare to sleep wif such a big tummy....

Friday la....

Dear Friday,

Finally u come, I had wait for u totally 5 days become u come..haha...
so looking forward every end of friday work.
Back to normal self..and enjoy all those free and simple hours myself...

Hope Mr Sat and Mr Sun end slowly la...
..SO lazy to walk to work...my lazy worm are crawling around my body...damn...ha

Feeling Better...

Thanks Peishan and Shufen concern, I feel better today le.

After yesterday visit a doctor, take medicine and a day rest..power level back to 70%
When I fall sick, I really love my bed and flat.. ha..I need lots of sleep and rest...
and of course I can lay on bed read magazine and play NDS (currently playing dragon ball-
RPG game..I get addicted!)

Though I sick, I still make full use of my time, wash my clothes and vacum floor.

While my sick leave off...past so fast...and Now I was back to work..haha...

13/05/2009

I am sick.......
The doctor said I got Upper Respiratory Infection, my throat are so pain
and keep wiping my nose. If condition still Like that tmr, I will go and visit doctor.
May be I get influence by a sick colleague didnt wear mask while he was sick. (so bad!)